VCE English Section B: Annotated Creative Writing Exemplar
For years, Section B of the VCE English exam focused on comparative essays. However, with the 2024 study design changes, this was replaced by Creating Texts, a task that requires students to craft an original piece based on one of four frameworks: Personal Journeys, Protest, Country, or Plays.
As part of the first cohort to tackle the new Section B, I dedicated a lot of time to unpacking VCAA’s grading criteria and it paid off! That deep understanding played a key role in securing my raw 50. In this post, I’ll reverse-engineer one of my Section B pieces so you can see what a high-scoring creative writing response looks like 🔥.
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Start a Free Trial Lesson →The Creative Writing Stimulus
Framework: Personal Journeys
Title: Running From Myself
Stimulus: "You can’t escape yourself by moving from one place to another." — Ernest Hemingway.
2008: Nocturne
Chopin was a cornerstone of Polish culture. In the narrow lanes of Warsaw, the sound of his ‘Nokturnes’ (Polish word for Nocturne) would echo against the ceramic walls of buildings. He was hard to escape. Every morning when her mother would turn on the radio in her grey SUV and drive her to school, the melodies of the Potea Fortepianu (poet of the piano) (Language) would play. Outside, the streets of Warsaw would dance with the bustling activity of commuters on trams, but the sound was all arpeggios, allegros, and adagios. Chopin’s arpeggios, allegros, and adagios. Outside, the tiled red roof of the Ostrogski Palace would soar high. Inside the palace, the Chopin society would assemble and discuss how to preserve a Polish heritage. The Poeta Fortepianu was the beating heart of Poland. His music was the blood running through the arteries of Warsaw’s many crossroads, winding pathways, and ascending staircases. Chopin was in her DNA.
Thus, it was a sharp staccato (Language) for the little girl when her mother broke the news.
“We are moving away”, she said.
Nailing voice is very important in Section B. We need to ask ourselves if the voice we are using for our character is appropriate. Higher scoring pieces will use sophisticated language devices to enhance voice. For example, in this piece, I incorporate Polish words to emphasize the Polish heritage of my character.
📌 Tip: Creating a character profile can be very worthwhile when preparing for this section. Understanding how different aspects intersect to form your character’s identity can give you a better understanding of how they might talk, think, and act. This is useful for two reasons. Firstly, you get a more nuanced character. Secondly, nailing voice becomes easier after we are more ‘acquainted’ with the character our narrative is embodying.
The piece uses context specific words such as ‘staccato’ to foreground music and identity as one of its central themes. Higher-scoring pieces are attentive to language choices and use certain words and phrases to enhance both the narrative and thematic exploration. Please note that context-specific words should be used thoughtfully. You don’t want to confuse your examiner by using very esoteric language.
2009: A Nocturne in a Minor Key
They did not understand what she would say. Her words for them were like a Nocturne in a Minor Key. A sharp Nocturne in a Minor Key that inharmoniously scratched against the Nocturne in a Major Key. Their tongues were a Nocturne in a major key. Their tongues were clean like crystals. Their tongues were unilingual and hardcore Australian. Her tongue was bilingual and slightly off-key. (Language Techniques) She would say English words with a Polish sound. Her syllables were too pronounced, her vowels were too expressive, and the sound of her “Rs” was like a roller coaster. Sometimes, they would praise her accent and other times they would laugh. Grinding her teeth, she would often find herself trying to transcribe her Polish accent into one they could respond to.
“Who's your favourite musician?” they asked her.
“Fryderyk Chopin”, she would say. Blankly, they would stare at her. Their expressions plain, and their brows slightly furrowed in confusion.
“Fedrick Chopin”, she would say in clarification. Indeed, Fedrick was the Australian way of saying Fryderyk, which gave more weight to each subsequent syllable (Micronarrative Moments). They would stare. They would appear unmoved. Pulling onto the strings of her black hair, she would hum a Nocturne — perhaps they were familiar?
Nocturne in C-sharp minor. They would shake their heads. Nocturne in G-major. They would sigh. Nocturne in F-sharp minor. They would shake their heads again. Here, she would turn to Nocturne in E-flat major. The classic Nocturne. It was the Nocturne they would play every morning at her school in Warsaw. It was the Nocturne that made Chopin the Poet. It was haunting, it was beautiful, it was mystic. Smiling, she would hum the Nocturne under her breath. This time they would shake their heads and sigh at the same time. Here, the little girl would shiver. The muzyka (music) of the Poet was unknown to them. It rested only in the ojczyzna (Homeland).
Higher-scoring pieces often use micronarrative moments to build tension. Sometimes, they even dwell on micronarrative moments for an extended period to emphasize the tension. A good example of this is seen in the description of syllables in this piece. Compared to the macroevents in the narrative such as the protagonist moving countries, the difference in accent and pronunciation is very miniscule. However, by drawing attention to this, the narrative is able to present a more complex and developed character.
High-scoring pieces have a more meaningful and connected narrative. As a result, scenes and moments have a clear purpose and connect logically. By reusing references established in the opening of the narrative (i.e. Nocturnes and Chopin as the Poet) this piece crafts a narrative that is both layered and connected.
2010: A Suppressed Nocturne
Her mother wanted to teach her the piano. It was the culture of Warsaw. If one lived near the sight of Ostrogski Palace, then they would inevitably trace the keys of the charcoal instrument and learn to recite the poet’s poetry (motif).
“We don’t live near Ostrogski Palace anymore”, she would tell her mother. Her voice would break like an intermezzo.
Her mother would laugh and dress the silence of the room with Chopin’s Nocturne in E-flat major. The crescendos were gentle, the arpeggios were beautiful, and each allegro was like a heartbeat. Unconsciously, she would find her lips twisting into a little purse. Sitting beside her mother on the mahogany stool she would whistle the Nocturne. Suddenly, her whistling would terminate. Chopin would terminate. Outside, the wings of the Kookaburra would flap — it would be ascending towards the sky. Quickly, she would rise and run outside to the porch, leaving her mother, the piano, and the poet behind (tricolon).
Her mother’s playing would drift outside and onto the porch. Bending, sighing, and kneeling she would block her ears. Chopin’s muzyka belonged to the ojczyzna. It only belonged in the ojcyzna. The muzyka or rather music of this land was like the sound of the Kookaburra. It was new and it was foreign. It was beautiful but at the same time, not poetic enough.
Playing around with the tricolon can be a good experiment in creative writing as they can create rhythm and emphasis while deepening the meaning. In this piece, I use the tricolon to cultivate a moment of tension.
2015: A Diminished Nocturne
The teenage girl changed her name (shift). Olga became Olivia and the Polish accent vanished in thin air. Replacing it was a thick layer of an Aussie tongue. They could not tell she was Polish until she mentioned it, or until her mother called her on the phone and asked her something in clearly pronounced vowels. Biting her lips she would answer incongruously evoking what was a cacophony by sound. She would answer in a lot of English with some Polish hidden in between.
“You can speak Polish?”, her friends would ask her when she would finish the call.
“Only a little bit”, she would answer. Then, she would turn around and change the song on the radio to Taylor Swift or Bruno Mars (allusion to pop culture).
“Let’s sing this!”, she would exclaim. Tuning into the words “You Belong with me”, she would drift away from what was the bedrock of a cracking identity. She would drift away from the Poeta Fortepianu and the muzyka and ignore the little girl who would still want to hum a Nocturne. In the drawing room, her mother would still trace the melodies of Chopin. In her bedroom, she would block the sound with her headphones. Poetry was waning.
Using allusions to cultural elements is a good strategy to establish the piece’s social and historical context. Higher-scoring pieces typically build contextual details through ‘contextual cues’ (i.e. allusions to pop culture, setting, or world events in the background) and use these cues to enhance their narrative. For instance, in my piece, allusions to pop culture are in direct conflict with the character’s Polish heritage.
2023: A reawakened Nocturne
The young woman felt herself crippling. The drawing room was silent. The piano lid was closed. The instrument was gathering dust. It had not been played for months (Sentence Length and Pace). Outside, the kookaburra still flapped its wings but inside there was no music. The instrument was unoccupied and she was alone. Both were mourning the passing of her mother.
Yes, she would complain about her mother playing Chopin. Yes, she would block her ears and amp Taylor Swift. Yes, she would refrain from answering her mother in the language they carried in their lineage. But the piano was silent now and the woman felt incomplete. She felt like an interlude to an unfinished Nocturne.
With trembling hands and some hesitation, she opened the piano lid. A sea of black and white glimmered beneath her and she stood on the shore. The ghost of the Poeta Fortepianu lingered in the piano keys, but she couldn’t summon it. Sighing, she looked at the instrument her mother had once tried to teach her. There was no Nocturne. Only reflection. Her weathered face reflected against the piano’s high-gloss surface.
Noticing this the young woman smiled. Her identity was here — tucked in the piano and in the tunes of the Poeta Fortepianu which she couldn’t play. But as long as the muzyka of Chopin prevailed, she would always be a descendant of the ojczyzna she left behind (Circularity).
I always liked ending my pieces in a circular way. Circularity can be a fun structure to experiment with in creative writing. This is because circularity (when used effectively!) can tie all the threads of the narrative together and make the piece appear more meaningful. Higher-scoring pieces strive to create meaningful narratives and they use structural choices to assist with this.
Notice, how the piece as a whole, captures the ideas raised by the title and the stimulus. These ideas are captured through narrative choices within the piece as opposed to directly quoting the title or the stimulus. Higher-scoring pieces avoid explicitly quoting the title or the stimuli. Instead, they draw on the ideas raised to depict how their piece is informed by the title, stimulus, and broader framework.
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FAQs
Should I memorise my piece for VCE English Section B?
Please don’t! Like the essay in section A where pre-written work may not align with the prompt, creative pieces in section B run a similar risk. My advice would be focusing on world-building and character-building across the year. In my case, I spent a few months crafting a character with a solid backstory and personality traits (i.e. Polish identity, complicated relationship with Chopin’s music etc.). Accordingly, when I would walk into a sac or an exam, I wouldn’t write down a pre-prepared narrative. Instead, I would ask myself, ‘how would my character act when confronted with the ideas raised by the prompt’.
Do I need to use the mentor texts to guide my VCE English Section B pieces?
You don’t need to use your mentor texts to guide your section B pieces. Having said that, I think it is very useful to deconstruct mentor texts and think about how the author intentionally uses specific choices to craft their narrative.
How long should my VCE English Section B piece be?
Given how section B is a more creative section it is quality above quantity. However, based on prior experience, I would say around 900-1000 words makes for a decent piece.
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Written by KIS Academics Tutor for VCE Legal Studies, Psychology, English and Literature, Sonnet Pandit. Sonnet is currently pursuing a Bachelor of Arts at the University of Melbourne. Sonnet achieved perfect scores in English and Psychology and above 40 in all her subjects. Request her as a tutor here.