QCE English IA2: Persuasive Spoken Response High Level Exemplar

What is the QCE IA2 Persuasive Spoken Response?

This assignment is a 5 to 8 minute persuasive speech about a contentious social issue in the media within the past year. This involves constricting a persuasive argument of your own and can include but not limited to broader topics of gender, power, race, religion, age, class and sustainability.  You will present your speech, and the word count is not specifically constrained.

The marking criteria assesses your 3 Criteria through 3 unique dot points for each criterion. There is more comprehensive description from the QCAA website, here.

Firstly, Knowledge Application.

1. Perspectives and representations of concepts, identities, time and places in a persuasive text.
2. Use of cultural assumptions, attitudes, values and beliefs that underpin texts and invite audiences to take up positions.
3. Use of aesthetic features and stylistic devices to achieve persuasive purposes.

Secondly, Organisation Development.

1. Use of patterns and conventions of a persuasive text, and of the role of the speaker/signer/designer, to achieve a purpose.
2. Selection and synthesis of subject matter to support perspectives.
3. Organisation and sequencing of subject matter to achieve a particular purpose, including discerning use of cohesive devices to emphasise ideas and connect parts of a persuasive text.

Thirdly, Textual Features.

1. Language choices for particular purposes
2. Combination of a range of grammatically accurate/appropriate language structures to achieve particular purposes.
3. Use of spoken/signed and nonverbal features to achieve particular purposes

• Pronunciation, phrasing and pausing, audibility and clarity, volume, pace, silence
• Facial expressions, gestures, proximity, stance, movement
• Graphics, still and moving images, design elements, music and sound effects

Example Persuasive Speech

For this exemplar the purpose, role and audience are outlined below. This is extremely helpful and important to do before writing your speech, as it provides you with direction.

Purpose: To convey views of physical and mental health as a first priority to teenagers instead of appearance-based opinions mainly stemmed from social media and various celebrity influencers.

Role: Informative speaker from the not-for-profit organisation, Body Smart. His life experience, being a 50-year-old male and having been part of the organisation for 20+ years.

Audience: Teenagers at all boys’ school.

Hook

You know, I always tell myself I’m not here to give a lecture. You’ve heard it all. You’re bombarded with instructions on body image. How to view yourselves. How to view your bodies. How you should feel about it. They tell you that you’re teenagers and that you’re about to enter the world, that the choices you boys make now, matter for a lifetime as men.

Seven or eight years ago, I always began by asking, “How many of you have Instagram? Who here uses Snapchat?” These days I don’t even bother. Before I came here, you already knew that social media plays a huge role in body image. You see the torture bodybuilders place on themselves to get as big and lean as possible, then you scroll a few posts down and see a close polar opposite — people advocating themselves as aesthetically perfect even though they’re morbidly obese or anorexic. 

The use of three is powerful in speeches (highlighted in yellow). Using the word ‘you’ addresses the audience directly. This hook makes the audience of the text very clear and the topic.

Progression/Introduction

It almost forces you to pick a side — body dysmorphia on one end, and toxic body positivity on the other. Living in denial or living on the brink. So today, as a 25-year member of the Body Smart initiative which works with boys’ schools like yours, I’m here to propose something different — health. Health as your number one priority, with any opinions or thoughts about appearance on the backburner.

In your cases, as teenagers, you have the luxury of being able to adapt your lifestyle and try new activities. Your views of yourself develop now, and they stick, for better or for worse. So — begin with a view of health for two main reasons: your physical and mental wellbeing.

Uses “this or that” scenarios. This paragraph establishes my role, my purpose is very clear and outlines my thesis and arguments.

First Argument

You guys know the stats. You know the diseases and conditions that come down the track. What I’m here to say is that the track begins right now. The starter pistol has gone off and it’s up to you now to choose your path; are you going to hold your ground, stick with your stubborn views or are you going to run for the finish line, are you going to improve?

Uses multiple questions and metaphors nicely together to delve deeper into the first argument.

Currently, 55% of Australian students suffer from adverse physical health. An unhealthy lifestyle impacts your present and your future. Being categorised as obese or anorexic leads to developing type 2 diabetes, heart failure and increases risks of cancer and other deadly diseases by 30% as early as your 40s.

Sure, that’s what they say. But what do those numbers feel like? Believe it or not, I’m past fifty. These days when my mates go to the GP, they feel nervous. They wonder if their past carelessness is going to catch up with them. They wonder if they should’ve done something differently. They wonder if they’re going to be around for the Brisbane Olympics, or if they’re going to see their kids graduate from school. They didn’t even know if they wanted kids at your age. And so we thought we could be careless. We thought those numbers only existed on pieces of paper. But now when we’re sitting in the waiting room all we can do is think, and worry.

Provides statistics/numbers to back the claim and my credibility. Then explain what this means in a real-life context.

So, my negative spiel out of the way. If you’re looking to improve, if you’re wanting to become healthier, if you’re aiming to become your best self, how? First steps start with discussing with your parents and then potentially deciding to see your GP, who’ll direct you to simple daily ideas for exercise and food.

These simple changes begin with lifestyle choices that can easily be made as a student. From joining school sports teams to changes as basic as being more mindful of what you consume, whether that means eating more or less or just differently depending on your circumstance.  And the choices you make now set yourself up for your future and how you act as adults. Much like how school teaches you how to learn, your age marks the best time to experiment and see what healthier lifestyle you’d like to run with. Pun intended. Getting on track, not for the sprint but for the marathon, with the healthier choices you enjoy is imperative to making improvements.

Now that the problem of argument is explained. The solution is outlined and explained. Using a variety of devices. Also continues the metaphor from earlier paragraphs, ties the argument nicely together.

Segway into the next argument

We’ve discussed your physical health, but what about your mental health? Teenagers’ mental health is such a large topic discussed in different sectors. In terms of body dysmorphia, the biggest negative effects are on your mental health.

Efficiently done, ensures it's clear to the audience what is being talked about.

2nd Argument

The ideology of trying to look aesthetically perfect, almost torturing oneself just to achieve unrealistic goals. That could mean resorting to substances at the gym or having significant eating disorders. These ideas of achieving a goal mostly stem from media influencers. Looking up to those who haven’t disclosed surgery or the drugs they’ve done and trying to naturally match up body types with them is a major part of the problem. These unrealistic goals cause anxiety and depression when you realise it’s naturally impossible. Impossible to be like them. Impossible to match the standards you impose on yourself.

Argument is delved deeper into. 

As humans it’s important we go through life learning and improving, but at the same time we have to ensure that we love ourselves instead of attempting to be like someone else. And that’s because health gives you something much more important than likes and followers. Eating right and exercising regularly means we live a much happier and more comfortable life. I think it’s fair to count that as a bigger achievement than looking like Chris Bumstead.

Solution is talked about.

The choices you make even now, whether you’re just going to tune me out or take something in today, affect you for the present and the future. Let me tell you that it’s no fun changing your lifestyle in your 30s, your 40s, your 50s. The physical labour and mental stress of doing so is mind-blowing. When I was young, I remember saying tomorrow I’ll start. Tomorrow became next week, next week became next year. I would always come up with an excuse not to — I’ve got no time, I’ve got too much academic work, I’ve got ages before I need to worry. Until I realised that everything I would be worrying about was right around the corner. And I deeply regret it.

Instead of making small improvements in my teens and 20s to help me live a healthier and happier life, I had to drastically change my lifestyle in my 30s, my 40s, and now my 50s. Maybe it really does show my age if I tell you my favourite movie quote comes from the first Rocky: “There is no tomorrow, there is no tomorrow!”

By looking to improve your overall health instead of your appearance, you put the focus on what sets you all up for a successful mindset in life. The right mindset means not just going with the flow of media influence, but running on your own track, taking charge of your health to pursue the things you really value.

Why’s its important? Provides personal life story/anecdote. Also, makes it relatable to the audience. Goes into my role and age too, showing personal experience.

Conclusion

So overall, today I’ve explained the physical and mental improvements of staying healthy by exercising and eating right. The worst thing you could do now is walk away and say you took nothing, say that nothing said today applied to you. It doesn’t have to be right now, but on your way home in the car with your parents or with your mates on the public transport, have a think about what you can do tomorrow. Think about what you can do to live a heathier life. Think about how you could change to become the best version of yourself for you in the present, owing it to the you, that’s waiting in the future.

Provides a thought-provoking final paragraph. Encourages the audience to consider their own life.

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